"I live in sin, to kill myself I live; no longer my life my own, but sin's; my good is given to me by heaven, my evil by myself, by my free will, of which I am deprived"
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Michelangelo's quote shows an extensive self-questioning on the nature of sin, free choice, and personal obligation. This passage can be translated as an exploration of the complex relationship in between an individual's options and the moral repercussions that follow.
The opening line, "I live in sin, to kill myself I live", suggests a paradoxical existence where life itself is a resist sin. Michelangelo appears to acknowledge that living in sin is damaging to his spiritual and maybe even physical wellness; it is as if sin is a kind of self-destruction. But he confesses to persisting in this state, exposing a stress between his goals for moral purity and the truth of his human flaws.
The expression "no longer my life my own, however sin's" further stresses his sense of being overwhelmed or possessed by sin, as if he has actually lost autonomy over his life. This absence of control highlights a deep sense of inner dispute and possibly guilt, as Michelangelo views himself as being under the influence of darker impulses that dictate his actions.
The following lines, "my excellent is provided to me by paradise, my evil by myself", recommend a dichotomy between divine impact and individual firm. The good that exists within him is seen as a gift from heaven, implying that positive virtues are external true blessings, not natural qualities. Conversely, the evil is self-generated, emerging from his own free will, which complicates his relationship with autonomy. Here, Michelangelo touches on the doctrinal principle of free will: it's both a magnificent gift and a personal concern, leading him to actions not aligned with his higher perfects.
The concluding thought, "of which I am denied", paints a picture of powerlessness, as though Michelangelo feels that his capability to exercise his free will is limited, or that his human frailty constrains his capacity to pick rightly. This sense of deprivation may suggest that regardless of having free choice, he feels its potential is impeded by his human drawbacks, perpetually caught between the divine and the earthly.
In sum, Michelangelo's words use a poignant reflection on the human condition, where life's journey is a continuous settlement in between looking for divine great and coming to grips with fundamental sin, painting an image of existential struggle and the pursuit of ethical stability.
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