"If love means that one person absorbs the other, then no real relationship exists any more. Love evaporates; there is nothing left to love. The integrity of self is gone"

In this quote, Ann Oakley is revealing her belief that true love need to not involve one person entirely consuming or soaking up the other. She argues that when this happens, the relationship loses its authenticity and the love ultimately vanishes. Oakley suggests that in a healthy and authentic relationship, both people should keep their own sense of self and not lose their identity while doing so. She emphasizes the value of preserving one's integrity and uniqueness in a relationship, as losing it can ultimately cause the disappearance of love. In general, Oakley highlights the importance of balance and shared regard in a loving relationship.