"Incompatibility. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination"

Ambrose Bierce offers a sardonic observation about human relationships with his reflection on incompatibility in marriage. By defining incompatibility as a similarity of tastes, especially for domination, he exposes the power dynamics that often underpin partnerships. Rather than adhering to the conventional belief that differences cause discord, Bierce provocatively suggests that conflict arises when both partners desire the same thing, specifically the upper hand.

Such a similarity, particularly when it comes to the "taste for domination", creates an environment where cooperation is challenged by rivalry. Each person seeks to assert their will, control decisions, and drive the direction of the relationship. This mutual striving prevents true harmony, as neither is willing to yield. Instead of one partner naturally taking a submissive role while the other leads, a dynamic that might theoretically produce fewer overt conflicts, here, both partners have ambitions of authority. The household becomes a battleground for dominance, not a haven for mutual respect and affection.

Bierce employs irony to subvert the romanticized notion that shared interests always promote closeness. He hints at the darker side of human nature, the desire to dominate others, to be right, to have one's way. When both spouses share this trait, they are locked in perpetual struggle. Far from complementary, their similarity dooms them to ongoing friction. Compromise becomes rare, as yielding to another’s will feels like failure or defeat.

This perspective reflects Bierce’s broader skepticism about idealism in human affairs. It also brings to light the importance of self-awareness and humility in sustaining relationships. Recognizing one’s own inclinations toward control and working collaboratively rather than competitively becomes essential. Otherwise, what starts as compatibility turns into mutual incompatibility, with both partners unable to find peace in shared authority. Through concise and acerbic wit, Bierce unmasks a foundational tension that drives many intimate conflicts.