"Instead of loving your enemies - treat your friends a little better"

Edward W. Howe’s statement, “Instead of loving your enemies - treat your friends a little better,” offers a subtle critique of traditional moral exhortations that urge people to extend compassion indiscriminately, even to those who may harm or oppose them. The advice reframes priorities by inviting reflection on the value and responsibilities of friendship. Rather than idealizing love for adversaries, a high and often impractical ethical standard, Howe advocates for enhancing the quality of our existing relationships.

The challenge of loving one’s enemies is a celebrated moral ideal, rooted in various religious and philosophical traditions. Yet, Howe suggests that efforts invested in cultivating goodwill toward those who wish us ill might be misdirected or at least overemphasized at the expense of more immediate, attainable action: caring for the people already close to us. He hints that neglecting our friends, perhaps by assuming their loyalty or presence is guaranteed, can be a significant oversight. Friendships require ongoing attention, affirmation, and sensitivity, and neglect can quietly corrode even the strongest bonds.

By encouraging people to “treat your friends a little better,” the quote calls attention to the everyday acts of kindness, generosity, and understanding that sustain meaningful connections. Rather than striving for a saintly indifference toward hostility, individuals may find greater happiness and social harmony by showing gratitude, patience, and respect to their friends. It’s a reminder that small gestures, a kind word, a thoughtful deed, a moment of forgiveness, can have profound and lasting effects within our closest circles.

Ultimately, Howe’s observation is both practical and humane. It doesn’t reject compassion for others but emphasizes proportionality and realism in our moral focus. By nurturing and appreciating our friendships, we foster the very support systems that make the challenges posed by enemies more bearable. In loving and uplifting our friends, we create the foundation for a kinder, more resilient community.