"It's a good thing I don't read everything Eddie says, or I'd be up in arms and not enjoying my life"

"Everything you add to the truth subtracts from the truth"

"Cleverness is serviceable for everything, sufficient for nothing"

"If you understood everything I say, you'd be me!"

"Tip the world over on its side and everything loose will land in Los Angeles"

"Life is life - whether in a cat, or dog or man. There is no difference there between a cat or a man. The idea of difference is a human conception for man's own advantage"

"Plunge boldly into the thick of life, and seize it where you will, it is always interesting"

"To the wicked, everything serves as pretext"

"Question everything. Learn something. Answer nothing"

"A good portion of speaking will consist in knowing how to lie"

"Cats and monkeys; monkeys and cats; all human life is there"