"Love consists in giving without getting in return; in giving what is not owed, what is not due the other. That's why true love is never based, as associations for utility or pleasure are, on a fair exchange"
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Mortimer Adler's quote looks into the essence of real love, contrasting it with more transactional human interactions. By mentioning that "Love consists in giving without getting in return", Adler highlights the selfless nature of authentic love. This element of love transcends the regular mutual nature of most human relationships, such as those based upon mutual benefit, energy, or enjoyment.
In a normal exchange, whether in individual, social, or financial contexts, individuals often anticipate something in return for their contributions. These are relationships constructed on the structure of fair exchange, where the value given and received is typically stabilized. However, Adler argues that love operates beyond these parameters; it is not a financial deal or a quid professional quo arrangement. Instead, love is a genuine offering.
The expression "providing what is not owed, what is not due the other" even more strengthens the idea that love is rooted in kindness beyond commitment. It recommends that genuine love involves a determination to provide emotionally, physically, or spiritually without any anticipation of reciprocation. This altruism identifies a deep commitment to another's wellbeing, joy, or satisfaction, independent of individual gain.
Adler's point that "real love is never ever based ... on a fair exchange" draws a conclusive line between love and other types of relationships. In relationships based on energy or pleasure, the continuity of interaction typically depends upon the satisfaction of both parties' requirements. True love, alternatively, is not conditional on such fulfillment. It thrives not since of what one obtains from another, but since of the delight and satisfaction found in freely offering and supporting another individual.
In essence, Adler posits that love's unique nature comes from its boundless kindness and unbound dedication, specifying it as one of the purest and most profound human experiences. True love defies the expectations of reciprocity and fairness, cultivating a domain where the heart offers easily, just for the sake of giving.
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