"The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesn't have eyeballs or fins"

This quote by Dave Barry is a humorous take on the concept of relying on seafood. By stating that the only type of seafood he trusts is the fish stick, he is suggesting that he does not trust any other type of seafood. He goes on to describe the fish stick as a "totally featureless fish" that does not have any eyes or fins. This is a humorous way of stating that he does not trust seafood since he does not know what it appears like or where it originates from. He is indicating that the only seafood he can rely on is the fish stick since it is a processed food that he understands is safe to eat. This quote is a funny way of revealing the idea that it is tough to trust seafood because of the lack of info readily available about it.