"It is well known that Beauty does not look with a good grace on the timid advances of Humour"

"If the Police could do a reunion... One of the biggest jerks I ever met was Sting. If he can do it, then anyone can do it. It's not that big a deal. And the Eagles! They did it! They severely hated each other. It's just rock and roll"

"Not houses finely roofed or the stones of walls well builded, nay nor canals and dockyards make the city, but men able to use their opportunity"

"I started my own little carpet and upholstery cleaning business. I've done it for 20 years. I live well"

"There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend"

"I've been imitated so well I've heard people copy my mistakes"

"The desire to annoy no one, to harm no one, can equally well be the sign of a just as of an anxious disposition"

"When marrying, ask yourself this question: Do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this person into your old age? Everything else in marriage is transitory"

"A woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to endure, it must be assisted by a little physical antipathy"