Facts about Joe E. Lewis

Occup.Comedian
FromUSA

Summary

Joe E. Lewis is a famous Comedian from USA.

Our collection contains 25 quotes who is written / told by Joe.

25 Famous quotes by Joe E. Lewis

Small: It pays to get drunk with the best people
"It pays to get drunk with the best people"
Small: If you want to make a dangerous man your friend, let him do you a favor
"If you want to make a dangerous man your friend, let him do you a favor"
Small: Ive been on such a losing streak that if I had been around I would have taken General Custer and given
"I've been on such a losing streak that if I had been around I would have taken General Custer and given points"
Small: I play in the low 80s. If its any hotter than that, I wont play
"I play in the low 80s. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play"
Small: Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my Scotch, I say Im thirsty, not dirty
"Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my Scotch, I say I'm thirsty, not dirty"
Small: We can afford almost any mistake once
"We can afford almost any mistake once"
Small: Show me a man with both feet on the ground and Ill show you a man who cant get his pants on
"Show me a man with both feet on the ground and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants on"
Small: A man is never drunk if he can lay on the floor without holding on
"A man is never drunk if he can lay on the floor without holding on"
Small: I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I a
"I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster"
Small: Show me a man with very little money and I will show you a bum
"Show me a man with very little money and I will show you a bum"
Small: Im still chasing girls. I dont remember what for, but Im still chasing them
"I'm still chasing girls. I don't remember what for, but I'm still chasing them"
Small: I dont like money actually, but it quiets the nerves
"I don't like money actually, but it quiets the nerves"
Small: It doesnt matter whether you are rich or poor - as long as youve got money
"It doesn't matter whether you are rich or poor - as long as you've got money"
Small: I would take a bomb, but I cant stand the noise
"I would take a bomb, but I can't stand the noise"
Small: Adlai Stevenson has a genius for saying the right thing, at the right time, to the wrong people
"Adlai Stevenson has a genius for saying the right thing, at the right time, to the wrong people"
Small: I dont drink any more than the man next to me, and the man next to me is Dean Martin
"I don't drink any more than the man next to me, and the man next to me is Dean Martin"
Small: I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink
"I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink"
Small: You only live once - but if you work it right, once is enough
"You only live once - but if you work it right, once is enough"
Small: The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love
"The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love"
Small: You are only young once, and if you work it right, once is enough
"You are only young once, and if you work it right, once is enough"
Small: Theres only one thing money wont buy, and that is poverty
"There's only one thing money won't buy, and that is poverty"
Small: Show me a friend in need and Ill show you a pest
"Show me a friend in need and I'll show you a pest"
Small: I drink to forget I drink
"I drink to forget I drink"
Small: I always wake up at the crack of ice
"I always wake up at the crack of ice"
Small: They had me on the operating table all day. They looked into my stomach, my gall bladder, they examined
"They had me on the operating table all day. They looked into my stomach, my gall bladder, they examined everything inside of me. Know what they decided? I need glasses"