"If you've experienced having control, you don't want to be moved to a subordinate position, if you have your druthers"
About this Quote
Julius Erving captures a stubborn truth about human nature and power: once you have felt real autonomy, it is hard to surrender it. Control is not only about ego; it is the feeling that your choices shape outcomes, that your craft and instincts can steer the moment. After that experience, being asked to defer feels like a contraction of self. The phrase "if you have your druthers" signals awareness that life does not always grant choice, but it also betrays a clear preference. Given the option, most people will resist a step down the hierarchy.
Erving knew both sides. As a transcendent star in the ABA and then the NBA, he was accustomed to dictating pace, improvising, and bearing responsibility. His career was also marked by jolting reminders of limited control, from the Nets selling his contract to the 76ers after the merger to the late-career shift when Moses Malone arrived and the team reshaped around a different center of gravity. He adapted, but the instinct he names here is real: the taste of command rewires expectation.
The insight reaches beyond basketball. A manager who has built a team, a founder replaced by a CEO, a veteran reassigned under a new boss all confront the same friction. Control confers identity and meaning. Once competence and agency are recognized, subordination can feel like misalignment, even disrespect. That does not make refusal to yield virtuous; clinging to control can stall growth, stifle successors, and fracture teams. But the resistance itself is rational. It is a sign that mastery and ownership have taken root.
The mature answer is not to deny the desire for control but to redirect it. Influence can replace authority, stewardship can replace command, mentorship can replace solo authorship. Erving’s line names the preference honestly while leaving room for the grace required when circumstances remove the choice.
Erving knew both sides. As a transcendent star in the ABA and then the NBA, he was accustomed to dictating pace, improvising, and bearing responsibility. His career was also marked by jolting reminders of limited control, from the Nets selling his contract to the 76ers after the merger to the late-career shift when Moses Malone arrived and the team reshaped around a different center of gravity. He adapted, but the instinct he names here is real: the taste of command rewires expectation.
The insight reaches beyond basketball. A manager who has built a team, a founder replaced by a CEO, a veteran reassigned under a new boss all confront the same friction. Control confers identity and meaning. Once competence and agency are recognized, subordination can feel like misalignment, even disrespect. That does not make refusal to yield virtuous; clinging to control can stall growth, stifle successors, and fracture teams. But the resistance itself is rational. It is a sign that mastery and ownership have taken root.
The mature answer is not to deny the desire for control but to redirect it. Influence can replace authority, stewardship can replace command, mentorship can replace solo authorship. Erving’s line names the preference honestly while leaving room for the grace required when circumstances remove the choice.
Quote Details
| Topic | Leadership |
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