"Of all actions of a man's life, his marriage does least concern other people, yet of all actions of our life tis most meddled with by other people"

John Selden's reflection draws attention to the paradoxical way society treats marriage compared to its intrinsic nature. Marriage, at its heart, unfolds as an intimate, deeply personal union between two individuals. It shapes their private lives, happiness, and futures more profoundly than it does the outside world. Decisions about whom to marry, when, and how are fundamentally matters for those directly involved; the emotional, practical, and even spiritual weight of the event rests chiefly on the couple. Outside observers, family, friends, wider society, are only indirectly affected, if at all, by the marriage itself.

Yet, despite this essential privacy, Selden observes that marriage is more subjected to public intrusion, scrutiny, and commentary than most other decisions in a person's life. Families prod and strategize, friends gossip, traditions dictate, and norms abound. Society projects expectations about whom one should marry, about status, compatibility, timing, and motivation. People feel entitled to judge not only the suitability of a match but also its manner, celebration, and future conduct. Even cultural arts and media saturate public consciousness with narratives and ideals about marriage, intensifying outside involvement in what ought to be a personal matter.

This meddling often manifests through unsolicited advice, pressure, or outright interference. Parents may try to influence their children's choices based on their own biases or perceived social obligations; communities may cast judgment or attach meaning to unions that challenge prevailing values. Such attention can strain the newlyweds' autonomy and the authenticity of their relationship, burdening a fundamentally personal decision with collective baggage.

Underlying Selden’s insight is a critique of societal overreach. He highlights the irony that the more an action is imbued with personal significance and less with public import, the more it seems to attract the attention and interference of others. This phenomenon reveals enduring tensions between the individual's right to privacy in matters of the heart and the persistent curiosity, anxiety, or control exerted by social groups.