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Facts about Jeff Foxworthy

Occup.Comedian
FromUSA
BornSeptember 6, 1958
Age66 years

Summary

Jeff Foxworthy is a famous Comedian from USA, he/she is 66 years old and still alive, born September 6, 1958.

Zodiac:
He/she is born under the zodiac virgo, who is known for Analyzing, Practical, Reflective, Observation, Thoughtful. Our collection contains 40 quotes who is written / told by Jeff, under the main topic Dad.

Related authors: Haley Joel Osment (Actor)

40 Famous quotes by Jeff Foxworthy

Small: People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. Im very happy do
"People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school"
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Small: Nothing in life prepares you to be famous
"Nothing in life prepares you to be famous"
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Small: The designated driver program, its not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, drop
"The designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, drop them off at the wrong house"
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Small: Theres no down time any more
"There's no down time any more"
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Small: If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world,
"If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.'"
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Small: If men have a smell its usually an accident
"If men have a smell it's usually an accident"
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Small: Ive been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks
"I've been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks. The rest of them take after the other side of the family"
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Small: I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points
"I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points"
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Small: I turned down a movie this summer because it was nine weeks in Vancouver and my oldest daughter is 14.
"I turned down a movie this summer because it was nine weeks in Vancouver and my oldest daughter is 14. I've got four more summers with her. I'm not giving away nine weeks of her summer to go do a silly movie"
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Small: I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end
"I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods"
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Small: I say, If everybody in this house lives where its God first, friends and family second and you third, w
"I say, If everybody in this house lives where it's God first, friends and family second and you third, we won't ever have an argument"
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Small: I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three
"I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don't want to give two or three more hours away"
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Small: I really dont require a whole lot in life
"I really don't require a whole lot in life"
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Small: I know if mama aint happy, aint nobody happy
"I know if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy"
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Small: I know God is real
"I know God is real"
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Small: I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did
"I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did"
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Small: I had to perform at the White House for the president, Thats always kind of a weird set to try to put t
"I had to perform at the White House for the president, That's always kind of a weird set to try to put together"
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Small: Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?
"Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?"
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Small: For the first time ever I was taking the family on the road. We stayed with my in-laws, which on lifes
"For the first time ever I was taking the family on the road. We stayed with my in-laws, which on life's list of experiences ranks right below sitting in a tub full of scissors"
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Small: Find something in life that you love doing. If you make a lot of money, thats a bonus, and if you dont,
"Find something in life that you love doing. If you make a lot of money, that's a bonus, and if you don't, you still won't hate going to work"
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Small: Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt?
"Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt?"
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Small: Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - youre not sure what youve got
"Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it"
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Small: Between New York and LA, theres 200 million people that arent hip, and they dont want to be hip
"Between New York and LA, there's 200 million people that aren't hip, and they don't want to be hip"
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Small: Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldnt tell their therapist
"Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist"
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Small: You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly youre not professional any more
"You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not 'professional' any more"
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Small: You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much g
"You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it"
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Small: You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand
"You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand"
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Small: You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education
"You may be a redneck if... you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education"
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Small: When you get to your third millionth frequent flyer mile, I think something snaps in your brain
"When you get to your third millionth frequent flyer mile, I think something snaps in your brain"
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Small: What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do
"What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do"
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Small: My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then tha
"My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family"
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Small: My father-in-law gets up at 5 oclock in the morning and watches the Discovery Channel. I dont know why
"My father-in-law gets up at 5 o'clock in the morning and watches the Discovery Channel. I don't know why there's this big rush to do this"
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Small: Little girls love dolls. They just dont love doll clothes. Weve got four thousand dolls and aint one of
"Little girls love dolls. They just don't love doll clothes. We've got four thousand dolls and ain't one of them got a stitch of clothes on"
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Small: Its hard to think of yourself as a loser at 2 years old
"It's hard to think of yourself as a loser at 2 years old"
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Small: Its a weird sensation to be mad and learning at the same time
"It's a weird sensation to be mad and learning at the same time"
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Small: If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck
"If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck"
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Small: If your neighbors think youre a detective because a cop always brings you home, you might be a redneck
"If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home, you might be a redneck"
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Small: If youve ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck
"If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck"
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Small: If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck
"If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck"
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Small: If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip on the side, you might be a rednec
"If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip on the side, you might be a redneck"
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