Jerry Seinfeld is a famous Comedian from USA, he/she is 69 years old and still alive, born April 29, 1955.
Zodiac:
He/she is born under the zodiac taurus, who is known for Security, Subtle strength, Appreciation, Instruction, Patience.
Our collection contains 19 quotes who is written / told by Jerry, under the main topics: Funny - Family - Birthday.
"It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper"
"My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law"
"I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive"
"Make no mistake about why these babies are here - they are here to replace us"
"A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking"
"Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end"
"Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason"
"Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash"
"Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV"
"I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as you know, always leads to something - cuts into the nothing and then forces me to have to drop everything"
"There is no such thing as fun for the whole family"
"You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'"
"A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it"
"That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me"
"To me, if life boils down to one thing, it's movement. To live is to keep moving"
"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, "I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked.""
"The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!"
"The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it's so much fun"
"People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to"
