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Marriage Quote by Anthony Trollope

"A man's love, till it has been chastened and fastened by the feeling of duty which marriage brings with it, is instigated mainly by the difficulty of pursuit"

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Romance, Trollope suggests, is often just the ego enjoying a hard puzzle. He strips “love” of its flattering mystique and recasts it as a motivation system: men want what resists them, not necessarily what sustains them. The key word is “instigated.” Desire isn’t presented as noble or spontaneous; it’s provoked, almost mechanically, by “difficulty of pursuit.” Courtship becomes a sport with a scoreboard, and affection looks suspiciously like appetite sharpened by scarcity.

Then comes the Victorian pivot: marriage as chastening, fastening, duty. Trollope isn’t merely endorsing matrimony as moral glue; he’s diagnosing how social structures try to domesticate volatile impulses. “Chastened” implies correction and restraint, like breaking a horse. “Fastened” is even colder: love as something that must be bolted down because it won’t stay put on its own. The subtext is bluntly gendered and socially observant: men, granted more freedom to roam and romanticize conquest, mistake the adrenaline of pursuit for depth. Marriage, with its public vows and private obligations, forces a different emotional economy - less thrill, more responsibility.

Context matters: Trollope wrote in a world where marriage functioned as a financial contract, a reputational safeguard, and a social elevator as much as a personal bond. His sentence carries the realist’s skepticism toward courtship narratives that pretend passion is proof. What “works” here is the quiet cruelty of the formulation: love doesn’t die; it gets disciplined. And that discipline, he implies, is the only thing that turns chasing into choosing.

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TopicMarriage
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Trollope on Love, Pursuit and Duty
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About the Author

Anthony Trollope

Anthony Trollope (April 24, 1815 - December 6, 1882) was a Author from England.

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