"Between flattery and admiration there often flows a river of contempt"
About this Quote
Praise can rise from two springs: admiration, which is generous and sincere, and flattery, which is calculated and self-serving. The line draws attention to what separates them, not a thin line but a wide, moving channel. Contempt runs through the social economy of flattery. The person who flatters often harbors disdain for the one being flattered, because manipulation breeds a feeling of superiority. The person who is flattered may suspect the performance and quietly despise the flatterer for it. Even bystanders tend to look down on both, sensing the fraud. Admiration, by contrast, carries no bargaining chip. It acknowledges excellence without angling for advantage, and so it generates respect rather than secret scorn.
The metaphor of a river suggests depth and current. Once falseness enters praise, it tends to widen and accelerate. Power dynamics amplify the effect: subordinates flatter superiors to gain favor, while superiors may cultivate flattery to soothe insecurity. Both gestures are fueled by weakness, and both invite contempt as a corrective. Genuine admiration demands strength, because it admits limits in oneself and honors virtue in another without expecting return. That humility nurtures aspiration rather than rivalry.
Minna Antrim, an American epigrammatist of the early 20th century, excelled at exposing the fragile vanity beneath polite manners. Writing in an era of rigid etiquette and social climbing, she distilled the ethics of praise into a witty warning. Her society prized charm; she insisted on character. The observation still fits modern life, from corporate applause to political spin to the economy of likes online. Much that sounds like admiration is actually strategy, and the contempt that follows is the bill coming due.
The line offers a test: if praise would dry up without benefit, it was flattery. If it would remain when no one is watching, it was admiration. Where sincerity governs speech, the river recedes. Where advantage rules, contempt floods the banks.
The metaphor of a river suggests depth and current. Once falseness enters praise, it tends to widen and accelerate. Power dynamics amplify the effect: subordinates flatter superiors to gain favor, while superiors may cultivate flattery to soothe insecurity. Both gestures are fueled by weakness, and both invite contempt as a corrective. Genuine admiration demands strength, because it admits limits in oneself and honors virtue in another without expecting return. That humility nurtures aspiration rather than rivalry.
Minna Antrim, an American epigrammatist of the early 20th century, excelled at exposing the fragile vanity beneath polite manners. Writing in an era of rigid etiquette and social climbing, she distilled the ethics of praise into a witty warning. Her society prized charm; she insisted on character. The observation still fits modern life, from corporate applause to political spin to the economy of likes online. Much that sounds like admiration is actually strategy, and the contempt that follows is the bill coming due.
The line offers a test: if praise would dry up without benefit, it was flattery. If it would remain when no one is watching, it was admiration. Where sincerity governs speech, the river recedes. Where advantage rules, contempt floods the banks.
Quote Details
| Topic | Witty One-Liners |
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