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Marriage Quote by John Updike

"The first breath of adultery is the freest; after it, constraints aping marriage develop"

About this Quote

Updike skewers adultery with the kind of cool, surgical wit that refuses both moral panic and romantic glamour. The opening move - "The first breath" - frames cheating as oxygen: not just pleasure, but relief, a physiological release from the stale air of obligation. "Freest" is the bait. It evokes the American romance of self-invention, the fantasy that stepping outside vows is less betrayal than jailbreak.

Then Updike turns the screw. Freedom, he suggests, is a short-lived chemical high. Almost immediately, the affair starts rebuilding the architecture it claimed to escape: expectations, routines, resentments, negotiations over time and secrecy. "Constraints aping marriage" is the cruel punchline. The verb "aping" does double work: it implies imitation without legitimacy, and it mocks the lovers for reproducing the very institution they think they're transcending. The affair becomes a counterfeit domesticity - all the demands, none of the public framework that gives those demands meaning.

The subtext is less about sex than about human habit. People don't just desire novelty; they also crave structure, and they smuggle it into every relationship, even illicit ones. In Updike's broader fictional universe - suburbia, faithlessness, yearning packaged as lifestyle - adultery isn't liberation so much as a rerouted version of marriage: a private contract written in disappearing ink. The line lands because it punctures the self-justifying story adulterers tell themselves, and replaces it with a bleakly funny truth: we carry our cages with us.

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TopicMarriage
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APA Style (7th ed.)
Updike, John. (n.d.). The first breath of adultery is the freest; after it, constraints aping marriage develop. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/the-first-breath-of-adultery-is-the-freest-after-35444/

Chicago Style
Updike, John. "The first breath of adultery is the freest; after it, constraints aping marriage develop." FixQuotes. Accessed February 2, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/the-first-breath-of-adultery-is-the-freest-after-35444/.

MLA Style (9th ed.)
"The first breath of adultery is the freest; after it, constraints aping marriage develop." FixQuotes, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/the-first-breath-of-adultery-is-the-freest-after-35444/. Accessed 2 Feb. 2026.

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About the Author

John Updike

John Updike (March 18, 1932 - January 27, 2009) was a Novelist from USA.

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