"The first breath of adultery is the freest; after it, constraints aping marriage develop"
About this Quote
Then Updike turns the screw. Freedom, he suggests, is a short-lived chemical high. Almost immediately, the affair starts rebuilding the architecture it claimed to escape: expectations, routines, resentments, negotiations over time and secrecy. "Constraints aping marriage" is the cruel punchline. The verb "aping" does double work: it implies imitation without legitimacy, and it mocks the lovers for reproducing the very institution they think they're transcending. The affair becomes a counterfeit domesticity - all the demands, none of the public framework that gives those demands meaning.
The subtext is less about sex than about human habit. People don't just desire novelty; they also crave structure, and they smuggle it into every relationship, even illicit ones. In Updike's broader fictional universe - suburbia, faithlessness, yearning packaged as lifestyle - adultery isn't liberation so much as a rerouted version of marriage: a private contract written in disappearing ink. The line lands because it punctures the self-justifying story adulterers tell themselves, and replaces it with a bleakly funny truth: we carry our cages with us.
Quote Details
| Topic | Marriage |
|---|---|
| Source | Help us find the source |
| Cite | Cite this Quote |
Citation Formats
APA Style (7th ed.)
Updike, John. (n.d.). The first breath of adultery is the freest; after it, constraints aping marriage develop. FixQuotes. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/the-first-breath-of-adultery-is-the-freest-after-35444/
Chicago Style
Updike, John. "The first breath of adultery is the freest; after it, constraints aping marriage develop." FixQuotes. Accessed February 2, 2026. https://fixquotes.com/quotes/the-first-breath-of-adultery-is-the-freest-after-35444/.
MLA Style (9th ed.)
"The first breath of adultery is the freest; after it, constraints aping marriage develop." FixQuotes, https://fixquotes.com/quotes/the-first-breath-of-adultery-is-the-freest-after-35444/. Accessed 2 Feb. 2026.













