"Which is, I'm an optimist that two people can be together to work out their conflicts. And that commitment, I think, might be what love is, because they both grow from their relationship"

Garry Shandling expresses a belief in the fundamental optimism behind lasting relationships. When two people come together, conflicts are inevitable, but his view is that optimism lies in the faith that these conflicts can be worked through. The notion isn't naive, relationships require attention, patience, and effort. The optimism comes not from believing problems won’t arise, but from trusting that both people can work through difficulties as a team. This perspective reframes challenges as opportunities for growth rather than threats to love.

The heart of the message centers on commitment, which Shandling describes as perhaps the essence of love itself. Commitment goes beyond romantic gestures or mere attraction; it is about choosing to stay, communicate, and resolve together. There’s an implication that the willingness to work through issues forms the bedrock of a healthy partnership. It’s not enough to simply enjoy each other’s company when times are good, true love is evidenced by the ability and desire to face hardships, disagreements, or misunderstandings with a shared determination.

Growth is another crucial aspect. Shandling suggests that as couples navigate their relationship, both individuals develop and evolve. The process of addressing conflicts, of learning to see another’s perspective, to compromise, to forgive, promotes maturity and emotional expansion for both partners. Their relationship thus becomes a catalyst, helping them become better versions of themselves.

Underlying Shandling’s view is a deep respect for the transformative potential of relational commitment. Love, in this sense, is not passive or static but dynamic and proactive. Two people bound by shared optimism and a genuine commitment can not only survive difficulty but use it as a foundation for lasting personal and relational growth. This approach invites a reimagining of love, elevating its meaning beyond romance toward a durable, collaborative, and evolving partnership.