Our collection contains 32 quotes who is written / told by Jay, under the main topics: Funny - Dad - Medical.
32 Famous quotes by Jay London
"A guy gave me a job at an information booth - no questions asked"
"I went to a urologist - he told me I could go at any time"
"I told my therapist I was having nightmares about nuclear explosions. He said don't worry it's not the end of the world"
"I was born nine months premature"
"I don't need to worry about identity theft because no one wants to be me"
"My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings"
"I went to a record store and asked for 50 cent. They kicked me out for pan-handling"
"I wanted to join the Army the sign said 'Be All That You Can Be', they told me it wasn't enough"
"People read me but they don't subscribe"
"Does anybody know what I'm doing up here?"
"Do you know it was a year a ago today?"
"Did you know that today will never be tomorrow"
"After all these years I had the privilege of naming my private part, cause we have nicknames. So I named my private part pride... it's not much but at least I have my pride"
"I wanted to take up music, so my father bought me a blunt instrument. He told me to knock myself out"
"I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I'm watching the highlights"
"I was lonely driving here tonight so I hugged the road"
"I saw a sign it said left lane closed so I went someplace else"
"My boss told me to get my butt in gear. I told him I was shiftless"
"I'm convinced my cockroaches have military training, I set off a roach bomb - they diffused it"
"I went to the store and bought lady fingers, when I got home I noticed one of the fingers was missing so I went back to the store and the manager was nice enough to give me the finger"
"I saw a stationery store move"
"I went out with a promiscuous impressionist - she did everybody"
"My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality"
"It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes"
"I once dated a weather girl, we talked up a storm"
"I model irregular clothing"
"I went to the doctor and he said I had acute appendicitis, and I said compared to who?"
"A window of opportunity for me usually involves a rock"
"My whole family is lactose intolerant and when we take pictures we can't say cheese"
"I was going to buy a book on hair loss, but the pages kept falling out"
"At Motel 6 in Amish Country I wonder if they leave the light on for you?"
"I'm on performance enhancing drugs, so I may cause drowsiness"
