"Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five"

"It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course"

"The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf - it's almost a law"

"I'm addicted. I'm addicted to golf"

"If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out"

"There is no life for girls in team sports past Little League. I got into tennis when I realized this, and because I thought golf would be too slow for me, and I was too scared to swim"

"As a kid, I might have been psycho, I guess, but I used to throw golf balls in the trees and try and somehow make par from them. I thought that was fun"

"Golf may be a hussy, but I love her"

"Golf isn't just my business, it's my hobby"

"A kid grows up a lot faster on the golf course. Golf teaches you how to behave"

"Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air"